Reflections of Ugliness
by ProudDyspraxicWriter
Summary: Stayne remembers the night he lost not only his eye, but his entire world. Pre-movie.


**I have always been curious about how Stayne lost his eye. Haven't you? Better to get the Kleenex prepared!**

Reflections of Ugliness

Ugly. That's what I am. That's who I am. I am ugly now, and I can never bring my vanity back. I keep telling myself this. Want to know why? Look at me. Look at my face. A pair of beautiful sapphires sparkled here once but one was cruelly snatched away. My good eye can't be beautiful on its own. It mourns. It mourns for the lover from its past. Sometimes, just sometimes, I can still remember what it's like to see with both eyes.

I was nineteen – still just a boy, I suppose. That fateful day, I had set a romantic date with Marisa. She was the most beautiful girl in Underland, and beyond. She had short black curls that felt like silk when you touched them. Her dark murky skin was smooth and soft and healthy. She had these big brown eyes that watered all the time, even when she was happy. There was some debate about what was her best feature. I didn't take part in that. I knew what her best feature was. The first time I planted a tender, passionate kiss on her full perfect pouting lips, I knew I was hooked. When I kissed her, no force in Underland could make me let go of her.

" Come on! We're gonna be late!" I heard her sing from the front lawn.

" All right, all right. I'm a-coming!" I hollered from the open bedroom window. My heart fluttered when I saw her.

I went to the mirror. Brushing my neat black locks back, my reflection winked at me. Today was the day. A sudden chill crash-landed through my body. Nervous! I couldn't be nervous. Not tonight! My reflection, dashingly handsome as he was, reassured me that as long as I looked good, I would feel good. My reflection was always good like that. As a kid, he was the one to turn to for advice. That night I looked good; so good that I was nearly on fire.

" Ilosovic! Stop staring at yourself and let's go! I'm starving!" Marisa's shrill impatient cry plunged me into the ice cold waters of reality.

Swiftly grabbing the small box from the dresser, I rushed outside to meet her. I held her close in my arms, nestling my face in her hair, smelling the sweet scent of raspberries. Rubbing and caressing her cheek, I savoured every second before she let me kiss her. I did not say a word of encouragement nor did I touch her privacy, as all my friends did to their girlfriends. My fingers meeting hers, a wide grin spread across my face. We started to walk down the lane that led to the Tulgey Wood. We chatted happily for a while but Marisa became distracted by the wonderful flowers which grew all around us.

" How marvellous!" she laughed. She knelt down to allow the flowers to embrace her outstretched hands. " They're early this year," she informed me, which I smiled in response.

" I hear the Cheshire Cat takes very good care of them. There's a rumour that he transforms into a watering can!" I began giggling at the thought of the Cheshire Cat turning into a watering can and pouring liquid on the flowers.

Marisa chortled heartily. Her laugh was like powerful music that had no end. Then after a moment, she stopped. Her finger never left the petals. She sighed longingly. " If only I could keep one of these. Cheshire would kill me. He doesn't like people touching his property, you know."

Looking up at the treetops blowing in a gust of wind, a whisper blew my way. It was petrifying to suddenly hear, " Take one," when there was no one else around but a gut feeling told me that it was the Cat himself. I smiled to myself and mouthed a kind thank you. I looked back to my dearest girlfriend and knelt down beside her. Touching her shoulder gently, I lowered my voice to a soft mumble, which she liked. " Aah, my dear girl. Which one would you like? Personally, I think the yellow one will look stunning in your hair."

I plucked the yellow flower from its stem. Gingerly I poked Marisa's hair behind her ear and carefully placed the flower in it. She beamed, putting her gorgeously white teeth on display. Patting the flower head, her face was stricken with uncertainty. " What's brought this on?"

" I adore you. I want this night to be a night you'll never forget," I answered, gifting her with a kiss on the cheek while my hand was busy in my pocket, where the tiny box laid there, waiting for its moment to shine. " Anyway, come on. We wanna get to Hightopp's Tearoom before it closes."

Like two juvenile preschoolers, we ran through the wood, giggling and hollering as we went. Then after some time, the stream and the bridge came into view. We crossed it quickly and galloped down the hill, where Hightopp's Tearoom was quietly tucked away from the rest of Underland. It was a quaint little place and I enjoyed spending my hours there as a teenager. Sometimes I still go its ruin and pray for those who have lost their loved ones.

We entered, making the bell tinkle. Behind the counter was Mrs. Hightopp's youngest son. He was a strange thing with crazy orange hair and oddly bright green eyes. Even though he was at least twelve or possibly younger, he worked part-time at the shop and part-time with his father. His father was the Queen's personal hatter. He smiled as he greeted us.

In a thick Glaswegian accent, he called out to the backroom, " Ma! We got customers!"

Suddenly, the tall thin slender Mrs. Hightopp appeared. Her long greying blonde hair was tied up in a loose bun with sticks to hold it in place. Her rosy cheeks turned a plum colour when she saw who her costumer was. She beamed a wide toothy grin and gave a small vigorous wave. Then she patted her son on the head as he scampered off to do some cleaning, presumably.

" Hi, Ilosovic. How's yer ma?" she asked. She and my mother were friends once upon a time.

" Uh, she's doing well, thanks. She's still very weak, but the tea you sent eased the pain," I said.

My mother was a very sick woman. My father and I tried to take very good care of her, even though my selfish father didn't care that much. She suffered from a motor neurone disease that had left her wheelchair-bound. Everyday I had to make sure she was comfortable or that she wasn't in any pain. She died a short while after this night.

" That's nice to hear. I haven't seen her in ages. Tell her I'll pop by one of these days," she answered. " Well, you two better take a seat. The usual then, is it, dear?"

" No, no. I would like to have raspberry tea please. And Marisa, what would you like?" I faced her as we sat at my usual table.

" Um, I'd just like to have a hot chocolate please. Thank you very much," she simpered with a kind curl on her lips.

" Ooh! Such lovely manners! You've got a winner there, sweetheart!" the middle-aged tea lady shrieked in surprise. Aware of my plans for the evening, she gave me a discreet wink as she wandered off to retrieve our requested beverages.

When we were alone, I felt it was fine to show her how much I loved her. No one was watching after all. I slipped my hand into Marisa's. I just could not prevent myself from staring. In her eyes, smile and everything else, there was every memory we made together to the last detail. She was so beautiful that I couldn't speak. All I could do was listen to my heart beat to the rhythm of her angelic name. Unfortunately, the bothersome Hightopp boy remerged from the backroom. Beaming somewhat unsettlingly, he parked at our table with a trolley that numerous delectable looking cakes and biscuits arranged nicely on it. Marisa eyed the gigantic chocolate cake. The boy folded his clumsy arms and he wore a proud but snide smirk.

" Pick what you like and you don't have t'pay for it," he cried in his painfully annoying Scottish accent. He leant in and pressed his mouth to my ear. " Lover's discount." As though he wasn't even there in the first place, he sprinted to the door leading to outside.

Marisa giggled. " I only know the family by reputation but I never knew they were that funny or lovable!"

" That great big sack of…" I grumbled angrily. That kid was insane!

" Ilosovic, tell me that you love me," she piped up, stroking my cheek.

Giving her delicate hand a comforting squeeze, I guided it to my mouth. I kissed it softly. A smile uncoiled itself from the corner of my mouth and I reached down to pat the lump in my pocket. Then I brought my attention back to the gorgeous woman who sat opposite me.

" I promise I'll say it when the tea arrives," I cunningly uttered.

Just before Marisa formed a suspicious facial expression, Mrs. Hightopp came back. Two steaming hot mugs of tea and cocoa and an attractive teapot were laid out in a lavish fashion. For as long as I had known this lady, she had always been insistent about how the contents of a tray should be arranged. Humming merrily, she brought the drinks over to the table. She slammed the tray purposely just to hear the clanging sound. After chortling at her accomplishment, she placed the cups at either end of the table with the teapot for me.

" Would that be all, honey?" she squeaked.

" Yes, thank you."

" Good. Well. I'm just gonna take a quick walk – get life back into these tired old bones! Where's my son?"

" I think he's in the garden."

A faint clicking noise broke out and a second later, there was a deafening metallic whirring, as if an engine had just been started. The lady gasped and ran to the door where we had come in.

" TARRANT! PUT THAT CHAINSAW DOWN!" she bellowed. " See you later, dears. Are you all right to lock up, Ilosovic? The key's just there on the counter," she cooed before slamming the door behind her. The bell cracked and fell.

I sipped my cup slowly, observing my beloved girlfriend with love pumping fast through my veins. My heart was beating faster than the speed of light, or at least it felt like it. I was beyond euphoric. My head was floating among the clouds. Marisa leant forward and gave me the gift of a French kiss. After several minutes, she indicated that she wanted to hear those three deadly words pass my lips. This was the perfect opportunity. I gulped the air as though I was starved of oxygen. It was a trick taught to me by my mother to help control my fiery temper. It worked for nervousness too, I'd discovered. Marisa could tell and she squeezed my arm and told me that whatever I wanted to say, I needn't rush.

" We've been going out for only six months. We've had loads of fun. You've helped me through some really bad times and I love that you're always there. We've had our fights but we've always worked it out in the end. I love my life at the moment…even with Mother and everything. I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. Do you understand me?"

Marisa looked uncertain for a moment but she pushed it aside. Instead, she grinned confidently. She parted her lips to say something but she never got the chance to say it. _Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang-bang!_ The world around us rumbled and shook. One thing crossed my mind but it was impossible. Earthquakes don't just occur, not in Underland. Suddenly, a loud horrific screech burst through the sky. We both rushed outside to see what was happening and received the shock of our lives.

An enormous black scaly monster stood high above us. It had malicious yellow rotting fangs in his strong jaw and his yellow eyes were aflame with pure rage. His mile-long wings flapped frantically, making the dirt in the ground and the autumn leaves in the trees blow about. In a fright, Marisa held me close. I was the one who was her one true protector but this time, I had no idea how to defeat the Jabberwocky. But I had to try, for her sake. I cantered to the trees opposite the shop and broke off the sturdiest branch I could find. Putting my combat skills to the test, my makeshift sword snicker-snacked, enraging the giant dragon-like animal in the process.

" Foolish child!" it suddenly boomed. A large ball of fire was spat from his mouth and I rolled out of the way just in time.

Then it twisted his colossal evil body around. His tail was long and it had terrifying blood-stained spikes along the tip. With a mighty roar, the last thing I remember was that horrible tail coming towards me with incredible force. Then everything fell to blackness. I don't know how long I was out for. I don't know if it was hours or seconds. But I do know that I was too late.

I was suddenly awoken by searing pain shooting through the left side of my face. I groaned and moaned and cried out. Even though my eyes were open, all I could see was a grey hazy blur and it stung when I tried to see. The smouldering fire that circled around me was still burning. I could hear it, destroying everything in its path. Violently quaking with fear and shock, I put my hand to my left eye. I barely touched it but I squealed in agony until I was hoarse. Blood was dripping from where my eye used to be. Still very weak, I rolled over onto my front. I crawled slowly, stumbling along the way. Marisa was nearby, probably injured or worse.

" Marisa!" I choked, hacking aggressively. " Sweetheart!"

Blindly crawling in the dying secluded area, I stumbled across something soft which made me trip. Looking towards the sky, I tapped this strange object. I realised. Could it be?! Was it?! My head dropped to the floor and nestled my nose in it. The familiar lovely scent exploded in my brain. Raspberries. The yellow flower. I found Marisa's lifeless neck. I lifted her head and even though I couldn't look at her, I saw her closed eyes and still chest. I tried to cry but I couldn't. There was something boiling within me that made want to scream and roar and lash out.

" Marisa. Marisa! Oh, my Marisa!" My breath shivering in the hot atmosphere, I kissed her on the lips for the very last time.

Whenever I stare into the mirror now, my face is disfigured and scarred. My vanity has died. Ilosovic has died and Stayne has overtaken this body. Glaring straight ahead into the distorted, twisted, smashed glass, my reflection is someone I do not know. He taunts me with this face, his cruel laughter echoing in my head. I try to ignore it but the anger and the pain and the ugliness is fuming, expanding, growing. I am ugly. Ugly. Ugly! Ugly! Ugly!


End file.
